作者不祥。我是在WWW.MAXIMUM-JACKSON.COM 看到此文的。
A few weeks ago, I was at a staff meeting for new employees where everyone in the room was asked to mention one interesting thing about themselves that nobody else would know. I waited patiently 'til my turn came around, and then calmly explained how Michael Jackson once sent me to J.C. Penney to buy him underwear.
幾周前，我在我們的新雇員會議上的即興發言引起了巨大反響，我給大家講了我為MJ工作的期間，有一次MJ派我去J.C. Penney百貨公司為他買內褲的事情。
Since I have told my friends this story countless times, I was a little surprised by the strong reaction people had to my off-the-cuff comment. I guess I shouldn't have been. Like him or not, there is no denying that Michael Jackson is still a force of nature. Even my 5th graders are aware of him, and they were all of three years old when his last record came out! So to set the record straight, here is the account of my years with the so-called King of Pop.
引起如此強烈的反響我頗為吃驚，其實我本不該吃驚的，想想看，不管喜歡他還是不喜歡，誰也無法否認，MJ仍然稱得上是大自然的一大奇跡。
Back in 1989, I was a fresh-faced college grad in Los Angeles searching for my first job. Since I was one of the six people that year who actually went to college just to learn how to work in a recording studio, I had no problem landing a position at one of the major studios in Hollywood . Of course, even with an expensive college degree, you couldn't just expect to start off working with bands inside the building, because that required actual EXPERIENCE, which of course was what everyone else was out getting while I was pursuing my worthless degree.
1989
年，我從大專畢業，開始找工作，我學是關於如何在錄音棚工作的專業，當年學這個專業的只有六個人。那年頭哪有誰會去大學學習如何在錄音棚工作呢？
Instead, they stuck me out in the parking shack across the street for two months. Strangely enough, I had some experience in this area, as I had spent the summer working as a valet in a garage near Fenway Park .
Parking cars for rock stars certainly had its moments. Iggy Pop once drove up in a Hyundai with no windshield. Either Milli or Vanilli tipped me a dollar for parking their Jeep. The Beastie Boys all sped off laughing one day in their rented Escort, and then drove straight up to Mulholland Drive and pushed it over the cliff. And once a week during lunch, David Crosby handed me a twenty-dollar bill to take his brand-new BMW 750 to the car wash, which really only set me back like three bucks. Once when I brought it back to him, he handed me another twenty for a tip.一開始我只能當門童，在錄音棚外為明星們泊車，後來晉升為門衛，情況也好不到哪去。於是，我開始尋找其他工作。
Nevertheless, a promotion was inevitable, and in the winter of '89. I was promoted to the midnight to eight janitorial position. At least I was happy to be inside the building, as it was getting cold in the unheated parking shack. But I knew absolutely nothing about cleaning toilets and mopping floors, as evidenced by the huge cloud of noxious smoke that spewed from the cleaning bucket on my first night when I mixed the bleach and ammonia together.
Washing David Crosby's car for twenty bucks was one thing. But cleaning the studio bathroom after David Crosby had been in there for twenty minutes was a different deal entirely. For starters, I was supposed to stay awake all night, but after six hours of cleaning the entire building, this was easier said then done. Finally, one morning as I was leaving, the studio manager asked me to take two small brass elephant bookends home and polish them up before my next shift. I spent the day looking for another job instead, and found one right away at a studio down the street on Sunset Blvd.
我找到的新工作是當跑腿的，兩個月之後，他們把我派往一個錄音棚，參與一個秘密的項目，後來我發現我參與的這個項目竟是MICHAEL JACKSON的新專集DANGEROUS。
At my new job, I was hired on as a "runner," which meant I got to run errands all over LA in my trusty '84 VW Rabbit. A couple months later, they moved me out to a studio in the San Fernando Valley for a "special" project.
This project would eventually become Michael Jackson's "Dangerous" album. When I first started, Michael was working with three different groups of producers all trying to take the place of Quincy Jones, who had not been chosen to work on this project. I think Michael wanted to go out on his own for this one, but the problem was that he had no idea what he wanted! One day, Slash from Guns N' Roses would be recording a searing guitar solo, while the next day, a chorus of thirty children would be singing a nursery rhyme or something.我剛開始這項工作時，MJ正和三夥音樂製作人合作，他們都想取代Quincy Jones的位置。我覺得MJ是想自己當這張專集的製作人。剛開始他看起來有些沒確定專集的風格。前面一天，他請SLASH來錄吉他獨奏，後頭一天，他又讓30個孩子來唱旋律輕柔的兒歌。
Michael didn't say much to me at first, until one day he ran in screaming that there was a "vagabond" sitting in the alley behind the studio. I took a look, expecting Charlie Chaplin to pop out or something, but there was just some homeless guy sipping malt liquor out of a bag on the back steps.
一開始MJ不怎麼和我說話，直到有一天他尖叫著跑進錄音棚說小巷裏坐著個“流浪漢”，我跑出去看，以為會看到“查理•卓別林”那樣的人物呢，結果只看到一個無家可歸者坐在臺階上喝酒。
Eventually, Michael warmed up to me, and even started talking to me once in a while if he was in the mood. Once, he asked if I was going to have to go fight in the (Gulf) war. I told him I was probably too old to be drafted, and he responded by saying that he was relieved, because "if you went to the war, you could die."後來MJ開始和我熟識起來，當他有閒情逸致的時候，還會和我聊上一會兒。有一次他問我是否會去參加海灣戰爭。我告訴他我可能年齡太大了點兒，根本不會被征去，他鬆了口氣說：“你如果去參戰，可能會死的。”
He also started sending me out on errands, like going out with his credit card one afternoon to fill his huge Blazer up with gasoline. If I remember correctly, he had an auxiliary gas tank mounted, so he could get up to his ranch without having to get out and fill up along the way.
後來他開始把我派出去為他辦點兒跑腿的事兒，比如帶上他的信用卡去給他的巨型越野車加油。我沒記錯的話，他有個備用油箱也要加到滿得不能再滿，這樣他就可以一路開回他的莊園而不用中途下來再加油了。
I guess I should mention at this point that Michael is an awful driver. He hit everyone's car in the studio lot at least once, including mine. One time, he rear-ended a guy on the 101 freeway, and just left the scene because the guy got out of his car and started screaming at him. Eventually, he gave up and got someone to drive him in to work every day.
此時我得提一下，邁克爾是位極其糟糕的司機。錄音棚停車場裏所有人的車都被他給撞過，包括我的車。一次，他開車在101高速上和一個人的車追尾了，因為那傢夥從車裏出來就沖他大嚷大叫，於是他就“肇事逃逸”了。最後，他只好放棄自己開車而讓別人每天開車送他來工作。
Other memorable experiences include calling Tower Records (RIP) an hour before they closed, and having them shut down early so that Michael and I could go shopping. Even though it was just up the road, I was glad to get out of MJ's car and into the safety of the store! I think he dropped about $1500 on CDs that night.
還有其他記憶深刻的經歷，比如，讓雙塔唱片店提前一個小時關門，這樣邁克爾和我就可以去選購了。儘管唱片店很近，和錄音棚都在同一條街上，但是能安全地從MJ開的車裏跳出來還是讓我感到十分高興。我記得他當天花了1500美圓購買CD唱片。
Anyway, one day Michael shyly asked me if I could do him a special favor. I'm pretty sure this was after he stopped driving, so I guess he really didn't have any other way to get stuff during the day. Of course I agreed, which was when he told me flat-out that he had just run out of underwear.
一天，邁克爾有些難為情地問我是否能幫他個特別的忙。我確信這是在他放棄自己開車之後的事，他沒有辦法自己出去購物了。我當然一口答應，於是他直截了當地告訴我他的內褲短缺了。
For pretty much the whole two years that I worked with him, Michael came in every day wearing black dress pants and a red button-down shirt. He had a whole rack of just these two items in his office, which I assume he either had cleaned and returned to him, or just threw away at the end of the day. But on this particular day, I guess he was running low on drawers.和他工作的兩年中，大部分時間邁克爾都穿著黑褲子和紅色單排扣襯衫。他有一大衣架子這兩樣的搭配放在他的辦公室裏，我想他每天不是讓人送去洗了又送回來就是直接扔掉。不過，在這一天，他是內衣匱乏了。
At first, he just said that he wanted underwear. When I asked him what kind, he just repeated "Underwear!" When I told him I wasn't his mother and didn't know what to get, he kind of laughed, and then said "Hanes thirty please." When I was almost out the door however, he came running up and yelled "make them thirty-twos, I don't want them to be too tight!" So there it is folks. The King of Pop wears tightie-whities!（The type of undergarment I am describing is just a plain white pair of men's cotton briefs. Many men continue to wear these into adulthood, though most switch to boxer shorts at some point.）
開始，他就說了他需要內衣。我問他要什麼樣的，他只是重複“內衣！”我告訴他我又不是他媽，不知道買什麼樣的，他笑起來，然後告訴我說“請買漢尼斯30號的。”當我快要出門的時候，他跑過來喊道“買32號的吧，我不想穿著太緊！”夥計們，流行樂天王穿的是白色棉布三角內褲。
Other than that, I never saw any funny business going on for the two years I worked with him. I really enjoyed this experience, and even got my name on the CD! Michael was always polite and reserved in the studio, but he had his silly moments as well.
除此之外，在為他工作的兩年當中，我從來沒見任何滑稽荒唐的事情發生。我非常珍惜這段經歷，這甚至讓我的名字得以印到了CD唱片上！邁克在錄音棚裏總是禮貌、含蓄的，不過他有時也做點兒傻事。
He was also really concerned about doing anything that would inadvertently upset anybody around him. Even though he was spending five thousand bucks a day on studio time, Michael left me this note one day on my desk. I kept it as a souvenir, and pull it out now and then if people ever question my story. It pretty much tells you everything you need to know about him as a person and an artist.他做任何事都會考慮到別人，生怕給他人引起不便。一天，他從我桌子上拿了根兒筆，還給我留了張條子，儘管他租用錄音棚每天要花5000美圓。我把那張條子作為紀念留了下來，每當人們懷疑我講的故事的真實性時，我就把它拿出來給他們看。這張小紙條充分地向世人說明瞭他的為人，他是一位怎樣的藝術家。
* For the purposes of clarification, Michael was just telling me that he took a pen off my desk.
More Musings on Michael... 更多關於邁克爾的回憶
Just a few more random stories that I didn't manage to include in my original article...
--Once, Michael asked me to run down the street to McDonalds to grab some lunch for him. This was a pretty rare request, as he usually had a personal chef come in every day to prepare his meals. Anyway, when I asked him what he wanted, he admitted that he had no idea what they served, and that he had just heard from people that the food was good there!一次，邁克爾要我到街上的麥當勞去給他買點兒午餐。這可是個稀罕指示，因為通常他的私人廚師每天過來給做飯。不管怎樣，當我問他想吃什麼的時候，他只好坦白告知他根本不知道麥當勞到底賣些什麼，他只是聽人說那兒的吃的挺不錯的。
I ended up getting him one sample of nearly every item from the menu. He took a small bite of each, and then told me what he liked and what he didn't. If I remember correctly, he really liked their fish sandwich.
我最後差不多每樣兒給他買了一份回去。他每一種嘗了一小口，然後告訴我他喜歡什麼，不喜歡什麼。如果我沒記錯的話，他非常喜歡魚肉三明治。
--When the title track "Dangerous" was being recorded, Michael was injured in the studio and had to be rushed to the hospital! A temporary recording booth that we had built for him collapsed and knocked him on the head just as he started singing.
錄製《危險》這首歌的時候，邁克爾在錄音棚裏受了傷，而且還被火速送到了醫院！一個我們為他搭建的臨時錄音亭倒塌了，他剛一開始唱就被砸中了頭部。
He ended up being just fine, and for a long time, we used to play an early mix of the song which started with a sample of him screaming in pain as the walls came tumbling down!
還好他沒事兒，之後挺長一段時間裏，我們放的《危險》混音版是以MJ在牆壁倒塌時發出的痛苦尖叫聲為開場的。
--He was amazing in the studio. He has the equivalent of a photographic memory for music. He could sing something 40 different ways, and then two weeks later, remember that takes # 6 and 27 were the best ones.
在錄音棚裏，MJ簡直讓人歎為觀止。他對音樂有極其精確的記憶力。他可以用40多種不同的方法唱一段歌曲，兩個星期之後，他還記得第6和第27回錄的是最好的。
--We recorded so much music for Dangerous, that it was nearly impossible for MJ to pick out what was going to end up on the album. At once point, it was going to be a double album, as he had well over two hours of music chosen for the release.
我們為《危險》專集錄了太多的歌曲，MJ幾乎無法決定最終該把哪些歌挑出來收錄在專集裏了。MJ曾經計畫將《危險》作為雙碟專集發行，因為他選出了兩個多小時的歌曲。
When Sony decided they wanted it all to fit on a single CD, Michael kept coming back with lists of his "final" selections, but they almost always added up to over 74 minutes--the maximum running time for the disc. I remember them going back and forth on this for weeks.
但是SONY決定他們要讓全部歌曲壓縮到一張CD上發行，邁克爾只好反復推敲他的最終的入選歌曲名單，最後，超過74分鐘的歌曲被選了出來，那是一張CD唱片的最大容量。為此，他們花了數周時間才選定。
--Madonna visited MJ in the studio exactly one time. They spent a little while in his "private" room in the back, and then she left. When I asked Micheal later about her visit, he said that she "scared" him.
麥當娜曾到錄音棚來拜訪過MJ一次。他們在錄音棚後面的MJ“私人”房間裏呆了一小會兒，然後她就走了。後來我問邁克爾她的來訪如何，他說她把他“嚇”著了。
I think we all speculated that she tried to make a "move" on him, but Michael never said. In any event, we never saw her again after that...
我想我們都會猜測一定是她挑逗邁克爾來的，但是他從沒這麼說過。之後我們也沒在任何場合中再見到過她……
--Brooke Shields used to call him on the phone a lot. This was the pre-cell phone era, so I would usually answer his calls and then have to go find him in the studio. She was always really nice to me.
波姬•小絲常常給他打電話。那時還是沒有手機的時代呢，所以我經常接到她打給邁克爾的電話，然後我就去給她找邁克爾，叫他接電話。波姬待我一向很友好。
The Backstreet Boys came by one day, too. And, in the whole time I worked there, Janet only stopped by once as well.
後街男孩也來過一次。我在那兒工作的兩年時間裏，珍妮特也只來過一次。
--There were originally three production teams working in our studio. After working up about a half a dozen songs with one of them, Michael decided he didn't like any of the stuff they had come up with, and fired them. I think some of these songs eventually came out in later releases...
一開始錄音棚裏有三個製作團隊，和其中一組合作了五六首歌，邁克爾就決定把他們炒魷魚了，因為他不喜歡他們製作的東西。不過我覺得其中一些歌曲被收錄在以後發行的專集中了。
--When Teddy Riley was brought on board, he didn't want to work in our studio. So for three months, our studio sat empty, and my whole job consisted of driving tapes back and forth between our place and Teddy's.當Teddy Riley加入進來之後，他不願意在我們的錄音棚裏工作。所以有3個月的時間，我們的錄音棚處於閒置狀態，我的全部工作就是開車在兩地之間來回運送錄音帶。
--MJ was very concerned about the Gulf War. Once, he asked me if I was going to have to go fight with the Army. When I told him I was planning on staying right where I was, he said "that's good--because if you go to the war, you could die.
--Michale had some $900 remote-controlled motorcycles delivered to the studio one day. He asked me to come out to the parking lot to try them out, and when we were messing around with them, he drove his motorcycle out of the lot and into the alley, when a car came by and ran it over!
有一天，邁克兒訂購的幾輛遙控摩托車被送到了錄音棚來，每輛價值900美圓。他叫我和他到外面的停車場一塊兒玩兒。我們玩兒得不亦樂乎，他操縱著他的摩托開出了停車場，進了小巷，一輛汽車正好開了過來，一下把它給壓扁了。
He thought that was really funny. I couldn't believe that he could laugh so much at losing a thousand-dollar toy.他覺得這非常好笑。我簡直不敢相信，損失了一輛1000美圓的玩意兒他還笑得那麼開心。
--He still has my ink pin! 對了，他還沒還我便箋插台呢！
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