2011年6月3日 -塔蒂亞娜•伊馮娜（Tatiana Yvonne）寫作了一本名為《我心之王》（King of My Heart）的書，講述了她與已故的偉大的邁克爾•傑克遜（Michael Jackson）一起度過的時光和經歷。在她成為邁克爾傑克遜的音樂錄影《你給我的感覺》（The Way You
Make Me Feel）女主角一夜成名之前，塔蒂亞娜曾經是一位受訓於茱莉亞學院的芭蕾舞娘，也是成功的日本雜誌封面女郎。
正是這部錄影讓她瞬間成為名人，走入好萊塢的內部圈子。即使錄影拍完了，傑克遜又邀請他參加了《真棒》（Bad）巡演，持續的聯繫讓關於兩人打得火熱的緋聞傳言看起來真有其事。然後，下一瞬間，一切似乎又都粉碎了。
緋聞的起源應該是那個“全世界都看到的吻”，在《真棒》巡演上一個毫無準備的公開的吻，顯示出他們之間開始閃耀的化學反應。儘管邁克爾並未對塔蒂亞娜的舉動表示不贊同，人們相信是邁克爾的經理人們認為這有損於他的形象。
儘管她有著無數的照片暗示著他們之間顯而易見的化學反應，塔蒂亞娜的故事中並沒有關於這段熱烈的韻事的赤裸裸的細節描寫。塔蒂亞娜故事的可信度也曾被質疑，她從第一天開始就被潑上了污水。
也許這更多地說明了大部分媒體和公眾對邁克爾的看法，而與塔蒂亞娜關係不大。即使有麗莎•瑪麗（Lisa Marie）指他去世後深情的公開信以及在奧普拉（Oprah）訪談中的亮相坦誠自己對他的愛是如何深厚，又或者是吹牛老爹（P. Diddy）所講述的邁克爾怎樣闖進他的派對追求碧昂絲（Beyonce）的搞笑故事，仍然有些永遠說不的人拒絕讓邁克爾被當作有血有肉，會愛，也會被愛的人看待。塔蒂亞娜的故事是在流行音樂之王去世後被講述的眾多故事之一，讓我們得以一窺這個男人，為重建他的形象添磚加瓦。
好萊塢的天皇巨星們，例如艾迪•墨菲（Eddie Murphy）、普林斯（Prince）和德•尼祿（De Niro）都曾追求過你。是什麼讓邁克爾成為你心之王呢？
塔蒂亞娜：邁克爾是我的童年。我第一次看到邁克爾時只有3歲，那一刻我就想，他就是那個人，從我還是個小女孩開始，就對這份愛和見到他的夢想堅信不疑。
寫第二本書的目的是什麼呢？
塔蒂亞娜：這第二本書對我的故事作了更深入的敍述。我的上一本自傳中有一些相同的故事，但我想這一本可以說真正寫到家了。當然，他的去世讓我走完了從第一眼看到他、愛上他，一直到他去世的整個過程……世界失去了他。這也讓這個故事既苦澀又甜蜜，一個完整的過程。
你是如何應對這個（MJ的去世）的？
塔蒂亞娜：說真的，靠著上帝的愛。我一直秉持著對上帝的信仰。這仍然很艱難。每天我睜開眼睛就會被提醒，世界再也不是原來的樣子了。對我來說，缺失了一塊。那個我一直用心感受的人就是我的靈魂伴侶。這並不容易，因為有時我感覺就像自己是某個已經逝去事物的另一半。
你肯定會同意，邁克爾活著時得應對許許多多迫害和疏離，但他去世後，許多曾經壓抑的愛浮出水面，人們突然開始擁抱他，至少這是我的看法……
塔蒂亞娜：你的看法完全正確。我看到許多本不是邁克爾•傑克遜歌迷的人突然變成了他的歌迷，他們給予了這個新發現他生前所沒有得到的理想化和崇拜。我意識到，人們總是失去後才知道曾經擁有過什麼。這很沉重，很悲傷，卻很真實。我還看到人們出於這種新發現的尊敬和崇拜突然抓著每一片跟邁克爾相關的消息。即使是我也感受到了。我有了一些新粉絲，他們因此更為欣賞我。因為他們吸取了同樣的教訓。
這種說法很好，一個教訓。
塔蒂亞娜：是的，這不是件壞事。我一直在思考生命的意義，吸取教訓，有時候非常艱難。別人只能教你這麼多。這也是生命的意義，生活，並學習。
遇到邁克爾是如何改變了你的生命呢？
塔蒂亞娜：（猶豫）……Wow！….這真是個好問題。我一直相信，只要努力與勤奮，任何事情都有可能。這告訴我，夢想真的能夠成真。即使我相信，這仍然是個實實在在的證明。我努力工作，接受芭蕾訓練，堅信終有一日我能見到他……你曾經想過他會看上你，或者愛上你嗎？
塔蒂亞娜：沒有。我其實從來沒這麼想過，雖然有個朋友曾經提到過。記得嗎？我在書中提到的那個朋友，我們提到他/她的名字，說過你應該搬到紐約去，努力見到邁克爾傑克遜，他會愛上你。（笑）雖然我自己不那麼認為。我一心一意想要見到他，但從未有過我們彼此相愛的念頭。當我真的見到他，和他一起工作，一切都自然而然地發生了。我們之間起了化學反應，這不是我能預見的，也不是我努力就能做到的。這是天意。但那是我生命中最幸福的時光，遇見他，和他一起工作。自那以後，我再未感到過幸福，再也沒有那樣的幸福了。
可想而知，無論在事業上還是在情感上，要繼續下去都很艱難。
塔蒂亞娜：你還漏掉了他是有史以來最偉大的藝人這一條。他是個普通人。當我們彼此相愛，這只是兩個人的事，與他的地位或比真人還要高大的形象無關。一開始可能有影響，但我們打破堅冰，互相瞭解後，他就只是一個叫邁克爾的普通人。
人們對邁克爾的看法一直以來都有很大偏差。要麼將他視作類人怪物，將他非人化或是神化。兩者都沒能把他當人看，相信一個像你這樣美麗的女人會愛上他。他過世以後，出現了出多關於他好調情、賣弄風騷的故事。你覺得他的行為可以歸為輕薄風騷嗎？
塔蒂亞娜：哦，絕對的。你自己說說看。我們跑過汽車那一幕中，我的鞋跟被卡在汽車內飾裏，邁克爾抓著我的腿，想要幫我把腳拔出來。我嚇了一跳，對他如此親密地觸碰我的腿感到無比敬畏，我往後退開，結果一屁股摔到外頭去了。接下來我知道的就是邁克爾把我扶起來，用他的手幫我拍乾淨屁股，他的動作沒有什麼不敬，但是很風騷。我回頭看去，他臉上掛著邪惡的笑容。他是個正常的熱血雄性。
我看過拍攝錄影時候和維琪•勞倫斯（Vicki Lawrence）的一個訪談，你正在談你和邁克爾，她則開玩笑地打斷你，顯得很粗魯。看來浪費了一個傾聽你們關係的機會。
塔蒂亞娜：她想做的就是破壞讓我成長的機遇，讓公眾將我看成一個玩笑，不那我當回事，只將我看作是某個給她的訪談添油加醋的拍音樂錄影的小潑婦。她甚至還回擊我說“這些舞蹈課看來沒什麼效果”。邁克爾不這樣看。他覺得我的步伐很性感。他說我的“步伐就是我的舞蹈！”這也讓我明白業界是怎樣對待邁克爾的。我在他的保護傘下，這也反映出他們如何一直纏著他，一直將他當作怪人來戲耍。現在他們那我開玩笑，因為我已經走出了這個陣營。就像費波•卡爾（Firpo Carr，MJ的消息人士）說的，“那些脆弱的心靈和虛軟的膝蓋不適合做邁克爾•傑克遜的消息人士。”Former Michael Jackson Video Model Tatiana Yvonne: 'King of My Heart'
Friday, June 03, 2011
Tatiana Yvonne has written a new book titled "King of My Heart" about her time and experience with the late great, Michael Jackson. Tatiana was a Julliard
trained ballerina and a successful cover girl model in Japan long before her “overnight success” as Michael Jackson's leading lady in the video “The Way You
Make Me Feel.”
But it was the video that made her an instantly recognizable figure and inducted her into Hollywood 's inner-circle. Rumors of a blossoming romance seemed substantiated by an ongoing association between the two, even after the video as Michael invited her on The Bad Tour. Then in the next instant it all seemed to come crashing down.
The origin, it would seem, was “the kiss that was seen around the world.” A unscripted, public kiss during the Bad Tour, denoting the chemistry that had began to spark between them. Though Michael did not appear to disapprove, Tatiana's accounts, it was believed Michael's handlers felt it was bad for his image.
Even though Tatiana's story does not contain salacious details of a torrid affair s in spite of the fact the she has numerous pictures that insinuates an obvious chemistry, Tatiana's credibility has been challenged and she has been stigmatized from day one.
Perhaps this says less about Tatiana and more about the media and public at large with regard to Michael. Even after Lisa Marie's emotional open letter and appearance on Oprah after his death professing how profound her love was for him, or P. Diddy's comical story about how Michael crashed his party in pursuit of Beyonce, there are still those naysayers who refuse to allow Michael to be viewed as a genuine human being capable of love and being loved. Tatiana's is one of many stories told after the passing of the King of Pop that gives insight to the man, adding a building block to the reconstruction of his image.
AllHipHop.com: You were sought after by Hollywood Royalty like Eddie Murphy, Prince and De Niro. What makes Michael the king of your heart?
Tatiana: Michael was my childhood. The very first time I laid eyes on Michael I was about 3 years old and at that moment I thought he's the one and I held on to that love and that dream of meeting him since I was a little girl.
AllHipHop.com: What was the purpose of writing a second book?
Tatiana: This second book goes more in depth with my story. Some of the same stories were in my last memoir but this one, I guess you can say, takes it home. And of course with his passing it kind of like took me full circle from the very first time I laid eyes on him and fell in love with him up until his passing....the world lost him. That made it bittersweet...full circle.
AllHipHop.com: How did you handle that?
Tatiana: Honestly...with God”s Love. I am constantly keeping my faith with God. It's still hard. Everyday I wake up I am reminded the world is not the same as I knew it. To me there is something missing. Someone I always felt in my heart of hearts was my soul mate. So it's not easy because sometimes I feel like I am half of something that's no longer here.
AllHipHop.com: I'm sure you would agree that Michael dealt with a lot of persecution and alienation when he was alive but then a lot of repressed love came to the surface after he died and people suddenly embraced him or at least that was my
perception....
Tatiana: You're perception was absolutely correct. I saw a lot of people who we're not Michael Jackson fans suddenly become Michael Jackson fans who had this new found idolization and admiration that he didn't have while he was here. What I realized is people don't always know what they have 'til it's gone. And that's heavy and it's sad but it's true. I have also seen people suddenly latch on to pieces of Michael out of new found respect and admiration. Even I felt it. I have new fans who have appreciated me more because of that. Because they learned
that very same lesson.
AllHipHop.com: That's a good way to put it, a lesson.
Tatiana: Yeah and it's not a bad thing. I've always thought that's what life's about, learning lessons, sometimes the hard way. A person can only tell you so much or teach you so much. That's what life's about, living and learning.
AllHipHop.com: How did meeting Michael change your life?
Tatiana: (Hesitates)...Wow!....That's a really good question; the fact that I always believed that anything is possible with hard work and diligence. It taught me that dreams do truly come true. Even though I believed that, that was actual proof. With all my hard work and training in ballet and believing I would meet him someday...
AllHipHop.com: Anywhere in your thoughts did you ever think he would be interested
or fall for you?
Tatiana: No, I actually never thought that way even though I had a friend who sort of predicted that. Remember I said in the book my friend, whom I didn't mention by name, said you should move to New York and try to meet Michael Jackson? He'd love you. (laughs) Although I didn't think that way. My whole thing was just wanting to meet him but I never entertained the idea of us falling for one another. When I did meet him and work with him it all happened very naturally. The chemistry just happened It's not something I foresaw or tried to make happen. It was just God. But it was the happiest time of my life; meeting him and working with him. I have never known happiness since then. Not that kind of happiness.
AllHipHop.com: I would imagine that would be a tough act to follow be it professionally or emotionally.
Tatiana: Also take away from that the fact that he was the greatest entertainer who ever lived. He was a guy. When we we're falling for one another it was about two people. It wasn't about his status or this larger than life image. It was at first but after we broke the ice and got to know each other he was just Michael, the guy.
AllHipHop.com: The way people view Michael has always been very polarized. They are are either viewing him as subhuman and being dehumanizing or deifying him.
Either way people don't humanize him enough to believe a beautiful woman such as yourself could fall for him. Since his death there have been many stories of him being flirtatious. Would you say his behavior qualified as flirtatious?
Tatiana: Oh completely. You tell me. The scene where we run through the car my heel had gotten stuck in the car's upholstery and Michael grabbed my leg trying to help me pull my foot out of the upholstery. I was so taken aback and so in awe that he touched my leg in such an intimate way that I pulled away and ended up falling outside on my butt. The next thing I know Michael had grabbed me up and was wiping my butt off with is hand not in a derogatory way but in a flirtatious way. When I looked back he had a devilish grin. He was a normal red-blooded male.
AllHipHop.com: I saw an interview with Vicki Lawrence around the time of the video and you we're talking about you and Michael and she joking, cutting you off and was being very rude. It's seemed like a wasted opportunity to hear about your relationship.
Tatiana:
What she was doing was squandering my opportunity to grow so the public took me as a joke and didn't take me seriously but just saw me as some video vixen struttin' her stuff. She even snapped “Those dance lessons sure didn't pay off” Michael didn't think so. He thought my walk was sexy. He said my “walk was my dance!” It taught me a lesson about how really the industry treated Michael. I was under his umbrella. So it was a reflection of how they always kind of dogged him and would always play him off like he was a weirdo and now they we're making fun of me because I was growing out of that camp. It's like Firpo Carr (MJ associate) said, “Being a Michael Jackson associate is not for the faint of heart or weak of the knees."
Michael & Tatiana--The King of My Heart
(New Book)
As Michael warmly caressed me from behind, the magnificence of his cologne stirred my emotions. When I sensed that he wore it just for me, an indescribable euphoria swept across my psyche. My bliss was heightened when I learned from his parents and close friends that he said he was in love with me. The purity of his minty whispers fell like angel's breath upon my ear. The radiance of his smile lit my heart. How could anyone possibly resist surrender to the innocence of his aura? While our bodies quietly posed motionlessly for the picture, our souls danced excitedly within us. For that private moment in a public place, we were Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jackson.
But all was not well. I received an evil gaze from a jealous employee standing just out of the frame, off to the side. Her icy stare still resonates with a chill. Ominous clouds were forming. I had no idea she'd represent sinister forces threatening to sabotage our royal wedding; and wearing his coat he gave me during the shoot would not shield me from the wrenching heartache to come.
At that moment, the genesis of a fairytale love affair began slowly transforming into a nightmare. The Hollywood script would read: "The exuberant bride-to-be morphed into the lovelorn queen denied her crown."
And now, though my King is gone, his love still reverberates within my heart. This is my story of lost love as never told before.
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