作者：Rev. Barbara Kaufmann 翻譯：ilmj1314
日期：2011-11-24
作者：芭芭拉·考夫曼牧師（Rev. Barbara Kaufmann）
邁克爾•傑克遜（Michael Jackson）在藥物引發的意識變異狀態下，在其含混不清的話語中，他談論要建立一家兒童醫院。這不是邁克爾•傑克遜第一次談論為生病的兒童建立醫療機構。他曾在卡爾弗市（Culver City）波特曼醫療中心（Brotman Medical Center）成立了一個燒傷機構並在紐約西奈山醫院（Mt. Sinai Hospital）成立了一間19個病床的機構。
邁克爾•傑克遜超過20年的好友，曾被委任為夢幻莊園作畫的藝術家大衛•諾達爾（David Nordahl,）最近分享了一些回憶：
他們在法庭上播放的談話是如此的邁克爾式。照顧生病的孩子是我們每次談話的內容。他照顧全世界的生病兒童。他為貝拉•法克斯（Bela Farcas）的肝臟移植付錢，這個花費本來為12.5萬美元，當他們發現是邁克爾•傑克遜和麗薩•瑪麗•普萊斯利（Lisa Marie Presley）決定承擔費用，價錢漲到了25萬美元。貝拉得到了肝臟。
他想要大窗戶因為他知道重病的孩子通常無法入睡，夜晚醒著會害怕，所以他要建立一個露天劇院，每天不間斷的播放卡通片，如果孩子們醒來，他們能夠透過窗戶看到卡通片。"
諾達爾談到了邁克爾對孩子們的愛被曲解。我想知道，被指控期間他的情況。
“邁克爾知道，我的意思是完全知道 — 毫無疑問 — 他的命運就是治癒孩子，這是他的使命。他邀請全世界的孤兒，建立了一些，在醫院建立了兒童病房，他派醫生到巴爾幹半島甚至派了一架波音737帶著醫療用品到薩拉熱窩。
邁克爾愛孩子，他為孩子而活。他們是他生命中最重要的東西。事實上，他們是他活下去的理由。邁克爾的所有作品都是獻給孩子的 — 獻給全世界的孩子或者我們所有人的孩子。夢幻莊園是獻給孩子的，並且它一直處於建設之中。它與迪士尼相似，都是全球性的。邁克爾將幫助全世界的孩子視為他一生的使命。他為了兒童而奔走于世界，為他們貢獻了一大筆個人財富。這是他的生活，是他生存下去的理由。你能想像的到被指控傷害孩子，他是什麼樣的感受嗎？"
故事講到，邁克爾和一個離異家庭身患癌症的孩子成了朋友，他帶著他們一家到夢幻莊園，因為孩子們各種各樣的病患和傷痛都能在那裏治癒，他接觸到男孩的爸爸，這個爸爸自認為自己富有創作力並是個未被認可的劇作家。受到精神疾病和妄想症的困擾，這個爸爸相信他會成為傑克遜計畫建立一個製作公司—迷失的孩子製作公司（Lost Boys Productions）的合作夥伴。傑克遜從他唱片公司拿出4000萬美元作為啟動資金，委任諾達爾為這個專案設計一些標誌。在這些畫作晾乾之前，這個男孩的爸爸認識到在這個專案中他永遠不會成為傑克遜的合作夥伴，他要求得到一半的錢。當傑克遜拒絕時，剩下的事情顯而易見：提出控告，從電影製作費得到2000萬美元 — 電影製作可是傑克遜的熱情所在和下一個計畫。
不幸的是，傑克遜從未實現拍攝電影的夢想。他的名聲受到重創，並且有些人將總是認為他有罪，而他唯一犯的罪就是“與眾不同”。但天才往往都是他們同輩和文化中被流放的人。我們可以猜測，考慮到那個時代，發生在邁克爾•傑克遜的事不止一點點是種族動機。
我給諾達爾指出，夢幻莊園中公寓的藍圖中有可以產生負離子的瀑布，它會令人振奮並使人們感覺良好，傑克遜肯定知道內啡肽的作用。
“他當然知道，夢幻莊園中有為花兒設置的音樂管道，因為他知道這會促進它們生長，”諾達爾回答說，“邁克爾一直都在讀書。他知道很多關於治癒的事情，他知道歡樂和愉悅對荷爾蒙和心情有影響。他想讓夢幻莊園的一些建設保持秘密，因此孩子們拜訪時就不會提前知道他們將經歷的一切，這就有驚喜的快樂。他知道怎麼讓他們開心，讓他們感知。
但邁克爾的魔力消失了。邁克爾熱愛神奇的事物，他要求將神奇體現在畫中。他以那種方式看待世界，他特意用孩子般神奇的眼界看待，因為他喜歡。他真實感受到童年的缺失，不僅如此，邁克爾喜歡通過未被灌輸的新穎點和新鮮眼界看待世界，所以他選擇這樣。通過這樣的眼界和純真的眼光，讓他的創作力就像河流一樣自由猛烈的流淌。當指控來臨，特別是最後一次，他創作的源泉乾涸了。”
媒體瘋狂的利用傑克遜兜售他們的貨物 — 小報頭條、偷竊的令人不快的照片。他喜歡帶著面具阻擋他們。從來沒有見過他或僅僅對他略知皮毛的人從編造的故事和未經授權的傳記中斂財。
批判傑克遜聲音最大的人通常是利用傑克遜，歇斯底里的圍繞在他身邊依賴“報導”傑克遜生活以啟動和維持其事業的最無恥的人。同樣這些人知道出售聳人聽聞的消息並有意加以促進。甚至傑克遜死亡了，他們仍然依賴於他的幫助，在鏡頭面前故技重施，並直到堆積如山的證據和無罪宣判（14項）擺在他們面前，還是宣稱他有罪。他們承受不起持槍淩弱的行為被曝光，所以固執的堅守著他們的陣地。他們因他白癜風造成的膚色加以欺辱；儘管現代領養和無法生育家庭的受精技術存在，他們對他的父親身份加以欺辱；在一個崇尚年輕避免“老化”的年代，他們因其整容手術加以欺辱。資金雄厚和種族主義能夠解釋更多，因為傑克遜生在長在種族主義文化中並娶了一個白人妻子。其他的可以用自我意識來解釋：看待別人時先審視自己。
“有人稱夢幻莊園式一個兒童磁場，”諾達爾提醒我說，“它確實是，那是有意為之。但邁克爾沒有他們說的那個意圖 — 他的意圖不是傷害孩子，他的唯一目的是給孩子們帶來快樂和魔力。我看著他20年來都那樣做。邁克爾自己有一種神奇的吸引力。孩子們只是跟追他。有次我們在玩具反鬥城，邁克爾在那裏為孩子們買玩具，我環顧四周發現人山人海的孩子跟隨著我們。邁克爾還是喬裝了一番。”
“人們說他是一個隱居者，他不是。他總是吸引人群。他身上有些特質，看著人們湧向他就像看著海浪敲打海岸。他不得不練習迅速脫身，因為他周圍的人們會變得狂亂。他是我見過的脫身最快的人。”諾達爾還回憶了邁克爾遭受的孤獨。
“審判之前和進行之時，他感覺被遺棄了。法庭上他被公眾的看法定罪，他擔心無法得到公正的審判。他擔心如果坐牢，他的孩子們怎麼辦。他有睡眠問題。我們住在一個朋友的海濱別墅中，我告訴他如果無法入睡就下樓來找我。他擔心會耽誤我睡覺，但我不介意。我知道他孤獨焦慮。我們花了很多小時談話，有時候在海灘散步等待日出。他無法入睡。當你奪走了一個人生存的理由，一個人生活的理由，還剩下什麼？”
我想知道大衛•諾達爾是否觀看了審判。
“當然，這很艱難，因為你知道他們必然針對邁克爾。我希望公眾能瞭解到真正的邁克爾。邁克爾經常說如果你談論你做的好事，就會抵消掉善舉的作用，所以他對自己的慈善工作很保密。沒人將會知道他對這個世界和孩子們做了多少貢獻。他們奪走邁克爾的生命不僅僅阻斷了他的事業，實際上他的離去對世界是怎樣一種巨大的損失，我們無從所知。”
諾達爾談到了邁克爾對孩子們的愛被曲解。我想知道，被指控期間他的情況。
“邁克爾知道，我的意思是完全知道 — 毫無疑問 — 他的命運就是治癒孩子，這是他的使命。他邀請全世界的孤兒，建立了一些，在醫院建立了兒童病房，他派醫生到巴爾幹半島甚至派了一架波音737帶著醫療用品到薩拉熱窩。
邁克爾愛孩子，他為孩子而活。他們是他生命中最重要的東西。事實上，他們是他活下去的理由。邁克爾的所有作品都是獻給孩子的 — 獻給全世界的孩子或者我們所有人的孩子。夢幻莊園是獻給孩子的，並且它一直處於建設之中。它與迪士尼相似，都是全球性的。邁克爾將幫助全世界的孩子視為他一生的使命。他為了兒童而奔走于世界，為他們貢獻了一大筆個人財富。這是他的生活，是他生存下去的理由。你能想像的到被指控傷害孩子，他是什麼樣的感受嗎？"
故事講到，邁克爾和一個離異家庭身患癌症的孩子成了朋友，他帶著他們一家到夢幻莊園，因為孩子們各種各樣的病患和傷痛都能在那裏治癒，他接觸到男孩的爸爸，這個爸爸自認為自己富有創作力並是個未被認可的劇作家。受到精神疾病和妄想症的困擾，這個爸爸相信他會成為傑克遜計畫建立一個製作公司—迷失的孩子製作公司（Lost Boys Productions）的合作夥伴。傑克遜從他唱片公司拿出4000萬美元作為啟動資金，委任諾達爾為這個專案設計一些標誌。在這些畫作晾乾之前，這個男孩的爸爸認識到在這個專案中他永遠不會成為傑克遜的合作夥伴，他要求得到一半的錢。當傑克遜拒絕時，剩下的事情顯而易見：提出控告，從電影製作費得到2000萬美元 — 電影製作可是傑克遜的熱情所在和下一個計畫。
不幸的是，傑克遜從未實現拍攝電影的夢想。他的名聲受到重創，並且有些人將總是認為他有罪，而他唯一犯的罪就是“與眾不同”。但天才往往都是他們同輩和文化中被流放的人。我們可以猜測，考慮到那個時代，發生在邁克爾•傑克遜的事不止一點點是種族動機。
我給諾達爾指出，夢幻莊園中公寓的藍圖中有可以產生負離子的瀑布，它會令人振奮並使人們感覺良好，傑克遜肯定知道內啡肽的作用。
“他當然知道，夢幻莊園中有為花兒設置的音樂管道，因為他知道這會促進它們生長，”諾達爾回答說，“邁克爾一直都在讀書。他知道很多關於治癒的事情，他知道歡樂和愉悅對荷爾蒙和心情有影響。他想讓夢幻莊園的一些建設保持秘密，因此孩子們拜訪時就不會提前知道他們將經歷的一切，這就有驚喜的快樂。他知道怎麼讓他們開心，讓他們感知。
但邁克爾的魔力消失了。邁克爾熱愛神奇的事物，他要求將神奇體現在畫中。他以那種方式看待世界，他特意用孩子般神奇的眼界看待，因為他喜歡。他真實感受到童年的缺失，不僅如此，邁克爾喜歡通過未被灌輸的新穎點和新鮮眼界看待世界，所以他選擇這樣。通過這樣的眼界和純真的眼光，讓他的創作力就像河流一樣自由猛烈的流淌。當指控來臨，特別是最後一次，他創作的源泉乾涸了。”
媒體瘋狂的利用傑克遜兜售他們的貨物 — 小報頭條、偷竊的令人不快的照片。他喜歡帶著面具阻擋他們。從來沒有見過他或僅僅對他略知皮毛的人從編造的故事和未經授權的傳記中斂財。
批判傑克遜聲音最大的人通常是利用傑克遜，歇斯底里的圍繞在他身邊依賴“報導”傑克遜生活以啟動和維持其事業的最無恥的人。同樣這些人知道出售聳人聽聞的消息並有意加以促進。甚至傑克遜死亡了，他們仍然依賴於他的幫助，在鏡頭面前故技重施，並直到堆積如山的證據和無罪宣判（14項）擺在他們面前，還是宣稱他有罪。他們承受不起持槍淩弱的行為被曝光，所以固執的堅守著他們的陣地。他們因他白癜風造成的膚色加以欺辱；儘管現代領養和無法生育家庭的受精技術存在，他們對他的父親身份加以欺辱；在一個崇尚年輕避免“老化”的年代，他們因其整容手術加以欺辱。資金雄厚和種族主義能夠解釋更多，因為傑克遜生在長在種族主義文化中並娶了一個白人妻子。其他的可以用自我意識來解釋：看待別人時先審視自己。
“有人稱夢幻莊園式一個兒童磁場，”諾達爾提醒我說，“它確實是，那是有意為之。但邁克爾沒有他們說的那個意圖 — 他的意圖不是傷害孩子，他的唯一目的是給孩子們帶來快樂和魔力。我看著他20年來都那樣做。邁克爾自己有一種神奇的吸引力。孩子們只是跟追他。有次我們在玩具反鬥城，邁克爾在那裏為孩子們買玩具，我環顧四周發現人山人海的孩子跟隨著我們。邁克爾還是喬裝了一番。”
“人們說他是一個隱居者，他不是。他總是吸引人群。他身上有些特質，看著人們湧向他就像看著海浪敲打海岸。他不得不練習迅速脫身，因為他周圍的人們會變得狂亂。他是我見過的脫身最快的人。”諾達爾還回憶了邁克爾遭受的孤獨。
“審判之前和進行之時，他感覺被遺棄了。法庭上他被公眾的看法定罪，他擔心無法得到公正的審判。他擔心如果坐牢，他的孩子們怎麼辦。他有睡眠問題。我們住在一個朋友的海濱別墅中，我告訴他如果無法入睡就下樓來找我。他擔心會耽誤我睡覺，但我不介意。我知道他孤獨焦慮。我們花了很多小時談話，有時候在海灘散步等待日出。他無法入睡。當你奪走了一個人生存的理由，一個人生活的理由，還剩下什麼？”
我想知道大衛•諾達爾是否觀看了審判。
“當然，這很艱難，因為你知道他們必然針對邁克爾。我希望公眾能瞭解到真正的邁克爾。邁克爾經常說如果你談論你做的好事，就會抵消掉善舉的作用，所以他對自己的慈善工作很保密。沒人將會知道他對這個世界和孩子們做了多少貢獻。他們奪走邁克爾的生命不僅僅阻斷了他的事業，實際上他的離去對世界是怎樣一種巨大的損失，我們無從所知。”
When Michael Jackson, in a drug-induced altered state of consciousness and slurring speech, talked about building a hospital for children, it wasn't the first time Michael Jackson had talked about building medical facilities for sick children. He equipped a burn wing at Brotman Medical Center in Culver City and built a 19-bed wing at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York .
Artist David Nordahl, Michael Jackson's friend for more than 20 years, and whose work was commissioned for Neverland Ranch, recently shared some memories of Jackson :
"That conversation they played in court was so Michael. Taking care of sick children is what he talked about in every conversation we ever had. He took care of sick children all over the world. He paid for Bela Farcas' liver; the cost was $125,000 and when they found out it was for Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson who decided to split the cost, the price jumped to a quarter of a million. Bela got his liver.
On this picture, Michael and Bela Farkas, two years after Michael paid for the liver transplant that saved Bela’s life.
"I didn't do just paintings for Michael; he asked me to do sketches for rides he invented at Neverland and the drawings for condos he planned to build for critically ill children and their families. He knew that critically ill children heal better in an environment of hope, positive thoughts, laughter and magic. The darkened and quiet sick room fosters depression, not joy and joy heals according to Michael. His condos had large bay windows in the front and they were supposed to look like tree houses in the forest.
Nordahl spoke about Michael's mischaracterized love for children. How was he during that time when he was accused, I wanted to know.
"Michael knew, I mean absolutely knew -- without a doubt -- that his personal destiny was to heal children; it was his calling. He visited orphanages all over the world, built some, built children's wings on hospitals, he sent doctors to the Balkans and even sent a 737 with medical supplies to Sarajevo .
Michael loved children; he lived for children. They were the most important thing in his life; in fact, they were his reason for living. All Michael's work was dedicated to children -- to the children of the world or to the child in all of us. Neverland Ranch was dedicated to children and it was always under construction. Its similarity to Disneyland was intentional. Michael saw helping children in this world as his life mission. He traveled the world advocating for children and contributing a great personal fortune to children's causes. It was his life and it was his reason for living. Can you imagine what it was like for him to be accused of harming children?"
The story told is that as Michael befriended a divorced family with a boy diagnosed with cancer and brought them to Neverland because children healed there from all kinds of troubles and wounds, he came in contact with the boy's father who believed himself to be creative and an unrecognized talent as a playwright. Ravaged by a mental illness and prone to its delusions, the father believed he would become Jackson 's partner in his planned production company -- Lost Boys Productions. Jackson , with $40 million in start-up money from his record company, commissioned Nordahl to design some logos for the project. Before the paint was dry, the boy's father realized he was never going to be Jackson 's partner in the venture, and he demanded half the money. When Jackson refused, the rest became easy: make an accusation and collect $20 million earmarked for filmmaking -- Jackson 's passion and next venture.
Unfortunately Jackson never got to realize his dream of making films. His reputation suffered and some will always think him guilty of a crime when his only crime was being "different." But geniuses usually are often outcasts of their peers and culture. And we can guess, given the times, that more than a little of what happened to Michael Jackson was racially motivated.
I pointed out to Nordahl that the blueprint for the condos at Neverland included waterfalls that produce negative ions which are uplifting and make people feel good; he had to know about endorphins.
"Of course he knew; he had music piped in at Neverland for the flowers because he knew it encouraged them to grow," Nordahl replied, "Michael read all the time. He knew a lot about healing; he knew joy and delight had an effect on hormones and mood. He wanted some of the construction at Neverland to be secret so that children visiting would not know ahead of time everything they would encounter there, so that there was the joy of surprise. He knew how it would delight them and make them feel."
"But the magic for Michael was gone. Michael loved magic; he asked for it in paintings. He saw the world that way and he deliberately looked through the magical eyes of a child because he preferred it. It's true he felt the loss of childhood, but more than that, Michael liked seeing the world through fresh un-indoctrinated and fresh eyes, so he chose it. Looking with those eyes and through the lens of innocence allowed his creativity to flow freely and fiercely like a river. When the accusations came, especially the last one, his river of creativity was dammed and went dry."
The media, in a frenzy, used Jackson to sell their wares -- the tabloid headlines, the stolen and unflattering pictures. He took to wearing a mask to discourage them. Fortunes were made on fictionalized stories and unauthorized biographies by people who never met him or knew him only on at the fringes of his orbit.
The loudest Jackson detractors are often the most guilty of using Jackson and riding the hysteria surrounding him to launch and sustain careers "reporting" on Michael Jackson's life. Those same people know sensation sells and knowingly contributed to it. They still ride his coattails even in death, revisit the crimes whenever in front of a camera, and claim guilt to this day despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary and a not guilty (14 counts) verdict. They can't afford to be exposed for their bullying so they stubbornly occupy their position. They bullied him for his skin color lightened by the disease Vitiligo; the paternity of his children despite modern adoptions and fertilization methods for couples unable to conceive, for his surgeries in a culture that reveres youth and eschews 'aging rockers.' Deep pockets and a racist agenda explains much because Jackson was born into and grew up in a racist culture and married white women. The rest is explained by the ego that: sees people not as who they are but as who you are being.
"Some called Neverland a child magnet," Nordahl reminded me. "And it was really; that was deliberate. But Michael did not have the agenda they said he had -- his agenda was not to harm children; his only agenda was to bring joy and magic to kids. I watched him do that for 20 years. Michael himself had a kind of magical attraction. Kids just followed him. We were once in a Toys-R-Us store where Michael was buying toys for kids and I turned around to find a sea of kids following us. And Michael was in disguise."
"People said he was a recluse; he wasn't. He just always drew crowds. There was something about him; watching people descend on him was like watching a wave crashing to shore. He had to practice getting out of any article of clothing quickly because people around him went into a kind of frenzy. He could get out clothes faster than anyone I've ever seen."
Nordahl remembers too, the loneliness that Michael suffered.
"Before and during the trial he felt abandoned. He was being convicted in the court of public opinion and he worried about getting a fair trial. He worried about what would happen to his kids if he went to prison. He had trouble sleeping. We were staying at a friend's beach house on the ocean and I told him if he couldn't sleep to come down and visit me. He was worried he'd keep me awake but I didn't mind; I knew he was lonely and worried. We spent many long hours talking and sometimes walking on the beach waiting for sunrise. He couldn't sleep. When you take away someone's reason for living, the reason for his life, what's left?"
I wanted to know if David Nordahl had been watching the trial.
"Sure; it's hard because you know they had to make it about Michael. I wish the world could know the real Michael. Michael always said that if you talked about the good you did in the world, you cancelled the beneficence of the gift, so he was very private about his humanitarian work. Nobody will ever know how much he did for this world and for the children. The world will never know what it lost because they took Michael from his work and that cheated not just him of his future, but it cheated all of us."
Artist David Nordahl lives and works in Santa Fe, New Mexico where he is currently getting ready for a show in Tucson, Arizona at Settler's West Gallery on November 19, 2011 and in Las Vegas at a hotel on the strip in April.
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